I just wanna sing for You… my Lord..
The course of my life… changed.
Normal naman ako dati… Gigising, kakain, magbibihis ng magagandang damit, tutugtog, kakanta… may mga taong makikilala galing sa iba’t ibang lugar… makakalimutan din pero di ko sinasadya makakalimutin talaga ako kaya sinubukan ko ngang uminom ng “ginko biloba”… heheh… uuwi… matutulog… Gigising ulit, kakain, magbibihis ng magandang damit, tutugtog, KAKANTA…. makakalimot nanaman sa mga taong makikilala, makakalimutin kase… uuwi… matutulog… Gigising ulit at alam mo na ang mga susunod… minsan may extra pasyal pa pag pwede… Pag may problema tatakas ng bansa magtatago sa Hong Kong, maglalakad lakad sa mga eskinita nila at kakain ng street food… Tapos uuwi ng manila parang walang nangyare, parang walang problema… Gigising, kakain… at alam mo na ang mga susunod….
Parang siklo… bilog… walang katapusan… wala ring saysay… iiyak mag-isa sa kwarto… paglabas wala ng luha inubos na sa unan at kumot…. Parang siklo… bilog… walang katapusan… wala ring saysay…
Parati akong may di maipaliwanag na lungkot kahit meron na ako ng lahat… magagadang gadget… makukulit na kaibigan… aircon na kwarto at sandata kong ipod… natupad na ang pangarap… pero parang kong lumulutang lang…
Nag-iba ang lahat….
ng makilala ko Sya…
nagkaroon ng rason ang pag-awit… nagkaron ng rason ang pag-gising…
Akala ko dati para sakin ang pag-kanta ko… mali…
Merong entablado… merong ilaw… merong salita… pero anong pipiliin mong salita? Napaisip ako… Oo nga.. Oo nga… Para saan pa’t nilagay Nya ako sa entablado kung para lang kumanta sa hangin… Kung wala akong sasabihin…
Sa totoo lang wala na kong ibang masabi… puro paghanga nalang sa ganda ng may pakana ng lahat ng ito… Yung walang katapusang paghanga…
Naisip mo ba? Gumigising tayo sa umaga… Panibagong tyansa… Panibagong PAG-ASA….
Naisip mo ba? Nakikita mo ang pagsikat ng araw… ang ganda ng liwanag… o nabalewala mo na dahil sa pagmamadali?
Naisip mo ba? ito… mismong pag-hinga…. humihinga ka…isang pagpapala…
Naisip mo ba? Naisip mo ba? Naisip ko kase…
Sa akin…. pambihira… umiiyak na ko… marunong akong kumanta… pambihira… sumusulat pa ako ng kanta… Pero lahat galing Sakanya… pati pagkurap ng mata…
I exsist because of the one WHO made me… He is the reason for my breathing…
If I will sing only to express myself what good would that bring? Rather I want to sing because of the bursting of His GLORY inside my heart… Shining… flaming inside me… I thirst and i long to see Him… But i am still here… i am still here… but i decide to live… to breathe… to sing… for HIM… and for HIM ONLY… till that day comes… that i will see Him face to face…
Ayoko na ng siklo… ayoko na ng paikot-ikot… ayoko ng walang saysay…
“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
I’m always ANGRY!!! (because of AVENGERS..)
2 weeks ago i watched Avengers with my friends… We watched the last full show in 3D…. and I slept inside the cinema because I was so tired…
So I decide after my early meeting days later, to watch it again with my two friends… :)
I LOVE THE MOVIE!!!! YES!!!!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! I LOVE THOR!!! HEHEHEHE!!!! (even if they don’t really focus on his handsomeness in this one! OH I LOVE HIM! I pray that my future lovey will be kind of like him… A MAN!!! :) a very charming MAN! )
But… that’s not the one that really hit my heart… Its the line of HULK…
In our lives we have many struggles… Hatred, lust, envy,conformity, addiction, laziness, idolatry….. and so on… And we try fight these things with all our might…
Some of you might be asking and saying…” Why do we have to fight these things??? HATE? LUST? lalala… these are normal response to some situations… When someone did something bad to you, you hate… when you see pictures like this or that or see a beautiful woman or a handsome man your imagination just goes like that… ITS NORMAL!”
Not because these are the immediate response of our body or our heart, it should be NORMAL… No… We cannot let these stay in us because these destroy us…
THESE ARE SINS… sorry for being like a knife in this one… I really don’t want to hurt you guys and girls.. but this is the truth… and we need the TRUTH… Sin destroys our identity.. destroys our destiny…
Sin separates us to our Creator…
”Why can’t we be separated from God? Can He just leave us alone!!!” Yes He can.. but God decided to never leave us nor forsake us (hebrews 13:5)… Because we are created BY HIM and FOR HIM… :)
Believe me… I tried to live for myself, for my dreams, for my craft my music and *ehem! ehem!* (cough! cough!) for some cute guys too… hahaha! I tried living not for God …! nothing satisfied me… So i thought that’s ”LIFE”… that’s the meaning of living… to always find for something that will satisfy me..
That hunger can only be satisfied with ONE… A relationship with your MAKER… :)
So yeah, we try to fight our sins with our whole might… but nothing seems happening… its not working… you just go on circles with that sin… You wake up in the morning so shy to pray to God because of the things that you did… you just go on circles…
When Hulk said this line in the movie “ YOU KNOW WHAT’S MY SECRET? I’M ALWAYS ANGRY…….” BOOM! like a light bulb exploded inside my brain these came to my mind… To fight the enemy you have to HATE him! To fight sin is to HATE SIN! Well hate doesn’t really mean that you have to be in a “fighting face mode” all the time it is a matter of the heart… it is to have a distaste for it… Oha Hate hatred… hate lust!!!
But you can’t hate something that you loved for so long just like that… You will just keep on sinning if you love sinning… unless.. there is something or Someone rather, that you love more now… in short ”You. can’t. hate .sin. if. you. dont. love. God…” :) the more you love God.. the more you will hate SIN… Yes that is that.. (yun yun… hehehe) We can’t figh sin just by hating it… unless GOD IS HOLDING YOUR HEART… Unless.. God is your delight now… Loving God is the only way…
You can’t fool the enemy and say…. ” I HATE YOU.. And I’m a hulk in the spirit..” he sees you when you’re alone… He sees your every reaction towards people.. he sees and hear those backstabbing you do… he sees everything.. the enemy is watching you…
Maybe you’re saying right now.. “But i don’t love God.. and i want to..” Well let me tell you this… that’s what i told God 3 years ago… And God delights in a humble heart.. just be honest to God, you can’t hide anything from Him anyway… :) Just tell Him.. ” I WANT TO LOVE YOU GOD! BECAUSE YOU ARE MY CREATOR AND TO YOU I OWE EVERYTHING… MY BREATH, MY BODY… MY EXSISTENCE…”
You know what God did to me when i opened my heart to Him? He poured out in me a kind of LOVE for Him so hyper i cannot control it… I can’t control it!!! That’s why i can be angry at the enemy now… i can be genuinely angry with sin…
DO NOT FAKE IT! YOU CANNOT FAKE GOD! Or else you will look like this hulk hehehe! Just kidding… but yeah… :) God loves you so much even if you look like this one hehehehe…. God loves you that he died for you even when you were a sinner (ROMANS 5:8). .. :) Don’t be shy just come to him and be consumed by His LOVE! :) if you failed because of that same sin…. COME TO HIM… REPENT.. You can’t change you… God will change You… Just soak in His Love… :) His Spirit will be in you.. And you will be surprised, wow! i’m not doing those things anymore… :)
To look upon His mercy and grace… Jesus died for you and me so that we can be with Him… In view of His mercy you will just refuse to sin because of your melted heart for God’s love for you.. YOU CAN’T JUST DO IT ANYMORE…
I don’t really know if all of the things that i have said connects to the whole story of hulk in the movie cuz honestly i didn’t really understand the whole thing because they talk so fast… or maybe my english is just so AWESOME!!!! hahahahahah! but yeah… that line was really striking… “I’m always angry..”
I am a product of….
…….DISCIPLESHIP… Yep thats right… I grew (and still growing..) as a Christian through descipleship…
This is my Mentor, Acel Van Ommen… When did our story began? It was way back 2009.. I am attending a smallgroup (bible group) that time and one sunday evening she also attended that same group where i’m in… Since she is a musician like me I assumed that she would understand me… So I decided to ask her to be my “Mentor”… Maybe you’re asking now “what is this MENTOR MENTOR THING? AND DISCIPLESHIP DISCIPLESHIP?” … hehehe! Well i wont look at any dictionary i will just base this in my experiece…
Desicpleship for me is helping someone in her…”his” if you are guy.. its safer to desciple someone with the same gender to avoid emotional attachments that may lead “COURTSHIP” or “LIGAWSHIP” in tagalog, thus blurring the DISCIPLESHIP… hehehe..
Okey lets go back to Discipleship… for me its helping someone in his/her walk with the Lord… Being there for the person in times of happiness and sadness, speaking the truth and rebuking in love… pointing the person(disciple) to the cross for repentace and gratefulness… helping them to know Christ more, not just with words but through your life… A Mentor is the one who does that… its like having a teacher or a leader.. Mentors are called leaders actually… :)
Ate Acel did all that i said about discipleship to me… She was there in my downest moment, in my victories, in the middle of confusion she helped me understand… she spoke the truth to me and rebuked me with love… she always points me to the CROSS in times of grieving and triumph.. She helped me to know Christ more not just with words but with her life…
Maybe you’re thinking now “Oh Ate Acel is like a superhuman…” no… sometimes i see her cry too… One time she went to my house crying because she had a fight with Kuya Danny (her husband) … Seeing her crying that time didn’t made me think that she is a weak leader… because she’s not… She acknowledges that just like me, she also needs a Saviour and God…
Its not bad to cry… what’s the use of those little holes that God put in your eyes? Its for crying…(DUH?!?) But we have a wrong mindset… we think that crying is a sign of weakness that’s why we don’t want to cry.. No… The truth is.. we are weak… we are fragile… and we need God… ” I remember, 3 weeks ago… i screamed at the enemy I am crying so loud, i know Ate Tinay could here me downstairs … i told him… “you see me crying… but I AM NOT DEFEATED!” … I’m crying even now as i write this… hehehe… :’) Because I am not defeated.. Yes sometimes we get hurt… we fall, face first on the floor… Remeber that in those times GOD IS GOING TO BE YOUR STRENGTH… :) and You already won the moment you come to HIM… :)
And I just want to say that… I am extremely inspired by Ate Acel… I wanna be like her… I wanna be a Mentor who will open up her heart and let her desciples see how God works in her life… :)
NOW.. I AM READY… I will become a MENTOR and a leader… I will lead women to Christ… :)
Wow… i am just reminded right now… That’s what Jesus did with His 12 disciples… 1 Leader.. 12 desciples… = CHANGED HISTORY
I want to be a… “MISSIONARY..”
I’m Yeng Constantino… I’m not good in english but i will try my best… I made this tumblr account because today (may 2, 2012) i had a strong desire to be a…… MISSIONARY… Yes! God has placed us in different platforms, SO we are all missionaries wherever we are, because we can share the “TRUTH” that was planted to us to other people, in our work place, families, schools etc… But literally i want to be a MISSIONARY! This strong desire to go outside the Philippines too to evangelize and share the joy and freedom that comes from knowing Christ… :) Thats why i prepared this tumblr account… I will blog here all my “MISSION TRIPS” and all my “OUTREACH” projects… :) This is such an exciting SEASON for me… :) I will watch as the Lord unfold this season before my eyes… I am extremely excited to see what the Lord will do… :)
